i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
