PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
