I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize