so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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