I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
