it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
