is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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