I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
