Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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