I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
