That's intense
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
