I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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