I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize