I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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