I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
