also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
