You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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