I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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