I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
