I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
