he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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