I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
