If that was your dad, he is hot
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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