I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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