zippers are such a cool invention
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
