it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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