The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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