Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Couch. On fire.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
