I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
