You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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