My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
