do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
