i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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