seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
