its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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