there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
