I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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