My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
