hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
