True but thats because hes a fetus.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
