This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
