Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
