So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
