In the future we'll all be gay
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
