I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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