I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
