Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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