Do you still have your period?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
