You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
