think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
