One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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