If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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