I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
