If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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