i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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