we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
