I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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