I think i sorta joined a cult last night
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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