Someone shit on the floor
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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