Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
