Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
