So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
