I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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