You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
