have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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