so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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