Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
